I just felt horribly depressed. I hate it when this happens- it's just like out of no where I get hit by a ton of crappy thoughts. I *think* it is because an old friend got in conact with me tonight...and I hate trying to talk about "what I am doing now" because the answer is nothing really. I mean, I am not working and all I do every day is take Caden to school and pick him up I might get groceries, do laundry, or hit up the dentist yet again, but not much else. How sad is that?

The thing is, my friend didn't seem up to a whole lot more. She is a single mom and going to school (she didn't say what) and I think that it is the simple fact that she is in school when I wanted to be-- but I screwed it up and now I am at a loss what to do. I just feel like I am useless. I am not even working because I am so nervous about the getting a job process and about working out childcare for Caden. I feel like I am not good enough. Given I essentially got fired from the last job I had here in Toronto ( not that it was my fault, new owner fired everyone) I am just afraid to try. I want to be good at something, I want to be worth something and I am just NOT.

Ugh. This is why I hate the whole 'getting in touch with old friends' thing. I just don't handle it well... Oh and add my usual body issues on top of that. My first thought when she contacted me was "Omg, I hope she doesn't think I am a huge fat cow!" I know, I am pathetic. :(